Subject X displayed erratic behaviour in the chrysalis phase.
I yearned for adventure
He perceived compromise as being harmful to his development.
I was suffocating
His bravado was embalmed in a naïve innocence.
I believed in valour and duty
He was no different to any of the subjects in that sense, it was part of the formative training.
I was different
Naturally, war has a habit of blasting stark reality through bodies and minds.
My flesh and psyche were lacerated by shrapnel
Loss is understood.
Loss of self
What did Subject X see in the abattoir of war?
I saw death
What did he hear in the reports of Spanish rifles?
I heard revolution
What did he feel in feral Africa?
I felt alive
Did the rhythms of the world resonate with him?
Silence of clouds murmur of oceans trees swaying agony of the pierced bull
What did he make of Mankind?
The Lost Tribe ambition measured by sepulchres a maimed generation blood sacrifice rebirth of hope seasonal withering and blossoming a cycle perpetuated
There are so many unanswered questions.
We strive to quieten whispering mortality Death is our shadow
Official reports document Subject X as a failed experiment. He left the indoctrination programme before we had fully conditioned him. Statistical analysis predicted that Subject X would cease within a three month term. Yet, he survived. A clandestine unit was dispatched to monitor him and compile data. He had no fear, he embraced challenge.
I was afraid of being alone I goaded and chased Death risk élan kudos swirling gushing red mixing with thirsty dust
We are still trying to ascertain what motivated his reckless nature.
I had a piece of shrapnel tearing and biting into my soul I was hunting for a balm
Was Subject X happy with his existence?
Alive in words alive in conflict alive in love
We believe he discovered we had never truly let him go.
A footnote to the story
What did he do?
An end to all woes
Let me check the last page of his file.
The cold mercy of a bullet
It states he killed himself.