Subject X

Subject X displayed erratic behaviour in the chrysalis phase.

I yearned for adventure

He perceived compromise as being harmful to his development.

I was suffocating

His bravado was embalmed in a naïve innocence.

I believed in valour and duty

He was no different to any of the subjects in that sense, it was part of the formative training.

I was different

Naturally, war has a habit of blasting stark reality through bodies and minds.

My flesh and psyche were lacerated by shrapnel

Loss is understood.

Loss of self

What did Subject X see in the abattoir of war?

I saw death

What did he hear in the reports of Spanish rifles?

I heard revolution

What did he feel in feral Africa?

I felt alive

Did the rhythms of the world resonate with him?

Silence of clouds murmur of oceans trees swaying agony of the pierced bull

What did he make of Mankind?

The Lost Tribe ambition measured by sepulchres a maimed generation blood sacrifice rebirth of hope seasonal withering and blossoming a cycle perpetuated

There are so many unanswered questions.

We strive to quieten whispering mortality Death is our shadow

Official reports document Subject X as a failed experiment. He left the indoctrination programme before we had fully conditioned him. Statistical analysis predicted that Subject X would cease within a three month term. Yet, he survived. A clandestine unit was dispatched to monitor him and compile data. He had no fear, he embraced challenge.

I was afraid of being alone I goaded and chased Death risk élan kudos swirling gushing red mixing with thirsty dust

We are still trying to ascertain what motivated his reckless nature.

I had a piece of shrapnel tearing and biting into my soul I was hunting for a balm

Was Subject X happy with his existence?

Alive in words alive in conflict alive in love

We believe he discovered we had never truly let him go.

A footnote to the story

What did he do?

An end to all woes

Let me check the last page of his file.

The cold mercy of a bullet

It states he killed himself.

Farewell

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